Papal equity

During his recent US visit, Pope Francis was observed blessing the country’s crumbling infrastructure by the Onion News Network, the satirical news source. 

While in the midst of a public address, the Pope reportedly stopped for a moment to lay hands on an ailing overpass, embracing its “disfigured” form and kissing one of its rust-flecked cross girders. 

New York City resident John Reedy, reportedly said at the time: “Most people turn the other way when they see such mangled, hopeless infrastructure, but he showed it such tenderness and attention, like he was really willing it to heal.” 

While the satirical report was of itself enough to brighten up our news feeds, we were even more tickled to learn of Washington, DC resident Noah Rosenheck’s Change.org petition, which drew 2,657 supporters and included an open letter to the Pope asking him to take time out of his visit to bless the DC Metro system “so it actually works”. 

“Dear Pope Francis,” the letter reads, “our Metro system is having some troubles. All of DC would be grateful if you could find the time to bless it during your upcoming stay. Maybe a Papal blessing is just what it needs.”